The Deconversion Record
HEATHEN
HYMNS
Victoria “Vixen” Rae is what happens when the church girl reads the fine print and comes back with a fuzz guitar.
Victoria “Vixen” Rae
Blues-rock apostate. Bisexual firebrand. Ex-church girl who read the fine print, found the blood between the lines, and came back with a fuzz guitar and zero apologies.
HEATHEN HYMNS is the record that comes after. Not a crisis of faith. A crisis of honesty. It follows the arc from the front pew to the highway with the match still smoking. Faith, Fracture, Freedom. Thirteen tracks. No filler. No resolution that lets anybody off the hook.
Her problem is the pulpit, not the pew. Her fire is aimed at control, hypocrisy, fear dressed up as love, and every institution that told women to shrink, queer kids to hide, and survivors to stay quiet. Welcome to the new congregation.
“She was Sunday’s daughter.
Now she’s the reason
the pulpit checks
the exits.”
The Hymns
HEATHEN HYMNS follows the collapse of fear-based faith in three acts: Faith, Fracture, Freedom. It starts in the front pew and ends outside the church doors. Thirteen tracks. No full lyrics here. Just enough smoke to know the building is burning.
Sunday’s Daughter
The good-girl origin story. White dress, front pew, dynamite in the ribs. She was raised to be small. She had other plans.
Faith — EntranceRead It For Myself
The spell breaks when she opens the book they kept on the highest shelf. The blood between the lines is hard to unsee.
Faith — The PivotForty Days
Doubt in the desert. No voice from the sky. No miracle. Just silence, and the slow work of figuring out what that means.
Fracture — Desert BluesAmalekite
A reckoning with holy wrath, violent commandments, and the parts they skip in Sunday sermon. Kill everything breathing. That’s an actual quote.
Fracture — Scriptural ViolenceWhose Blood
Moral accounting for sacrifice theology. Someone always has to pay. She wants to know whose name gets lost in the smoke.
Fracture — Atonement TheorySpare the Virgins
A grief song for the unnamed women erased by sacred violence. Numbers 31:18. They never wrote their names down. She remembers them.
Fracture — The UnnamedPro-Life, Pro-Gun
You cannot hold both positions and call it love. One of them is about saving lives. The other one isn’t. Thoughts and prayers don’t bulletproof a classroom.
Fracture — Punk RageBurn the Hymnal
The breakaway banger. She leaves the choir robe on the door and keeps walking. A wildfire with no intention of turning back.
Freedom — LiberationHeathen
They threw the word like a stone. She tried it on and it fit like a coat. Call me heathen. She wears it like a crown now.
Freedom — ReclamationBoth / Neither
Bisexual chaos with no apology and no permission slip. Too queer for the straights, too straight for the scene. Both and neither. Figure it out.
Freedom — Bisexual ChaosRage Bait
For every bigot who keeps clicking while pretending to be offended. She lives rent free in your head. Keep the engagement coming.
Freedom — Hard RockNot Your Object
Purity culture, male gaze, ownership, and every rule written on her body without her consent. She was never yours to name or break.
Freedom — Purity CultureHeaven Was a Threat
Hell was a leash. Heaven was a threat. Fear finally loses. She cut the cord with shaking hands and found out what peace actually feels like. The irony of it all.
Freedom — CloserThe Fine Print
All posts →Essays, rants, confessions, and ugly little truths from the altar wreckage. No polished testimony. No soft-focus healing arc. Just the stuff people say after they stop asking permission.
Why I Left the Altar
It wasn’t a crisis of faith. It was a crisis of honesty. The moment I stopped pretending the contradictions didn’t exist was the moment I couldn’t un-see them.
Read → Bisexual VisibilityBisexual Visibility Isn’t a Phase
People keep waiting for me to pick a side. I’m not going to. Both, neither, all of the above. That’s not indecision. That’s the whole point.
Read → Political HypocrisyPro-Life, Pro-Gun: Pick One
You cannot hold both positions without acknowledging the contradiction. One of them is about saving lives. The other one isn’t.
Read →